How I Disappointed my Mother by not letting D&D lead to Satanism

During the early 80's, there was a lot of Christian funded anti-role-playing games propaganda. It explained in clear ways most parents can understand and specifically Dungeons and Dragons, appear to be just one more weapon in Satan's arsenal to corrupt good Christian youths. While I am too young to have to deal with any of this hullabaloo during the height of it's mob insanity, my mother was though.

Skip ahead 13 years, I start being interested in role playing games. I find her reading an RPG book I'd found at a yard-sale. She became convinced that the references to astrological signs in the character creation section was a clear indication that the book was a training manual for Satan's army. Like many of my treasured possessions that my mother found offensive for one misguided reason or another, it went missing when I lost track of it for a day. I asked her what had happened to it and she told me she had taken it to the local minister to be disposed of properly; which is to say Pastor Charlie had put it in his burn barrel with the rest of his garbage. It had not taken long after she looked at the book for my mother's Christian worry instinct to kick in and fear that these games would make me become a Satan worshiping teen bent on suicide for the sole purpose of hurting my mother. That never happened, but I always remember wondering where she got her jacked up information from.

Then the internet showed up and presented me with Dark Dungeons by Chick Publications, a Christian tract publisher. First let me say that you can find the whole thing here:  http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp
You can even get 25 for under $10 if you were so inclined. I'm sure they have untold comical uses and I'm sure I will find as many as possible.

Dark Dungeons (which they cleverly and legally abbreviate D&D) leads to all of a good Christian parent's worst fears:

Low Self-Esteem due to your game character dying

I haven't existed since the 5th grade apparently.

Hanging with the wrong sorts of youths

Cause this isn't the type of set-up a parent notices their teen setting up in the garage.

Using the power of Satan to convince your parents to let you go out late and get up to shenanigans they don't understand.

My first mind bondage spell was to convince them to let me see Pulp Fiction...it didn't work.

The obvious outcome disobeying your parents and playing D&D gets you:

Damn it Debbie! At least check on Marcie before you read her stupid note.

I can't say for sure she read this specifically, but church going women are a gossipy sort, so it would not have been beyond one of the more matronly older women of her congregation to helpfully suggest that her son was making a plan to kill himself in the name of Satan as they spoke because I was getting into that dangerous D&D.

Mystery solved and a whole massive collection of misguided attempts by Christians to convince parents that RPG's would lead to their children dead or in a mental institution and no where near a church as they should be. I look forward to sharing it with you all in the future. Stay tuned for my review of the 1982 Tom Hanks classic Mazes and Monsters.