Spirit of 77: Season 1 Episode 2

Spirit of '77 S 1 E 1:Final stop on the Aloha Express

Starring

• Mike as Tom S Fisherman: a gonzo journalist known as one bad mother on the streets who is out to uncover the truth!
• Stephen as Killian "Baphomet" Burque: goth glam rocker alien visitor looking for the new sound and his the place his came from.

Show History

"It might be faster than if we keep driving with that big heavy trailer attached to the Aloha Express," Baphomey replied.

"Let's ditch the trailer and put that sasquatch in the cab of the truck with us."  Tom suggested.

"Do you know how to keep a sasquatch calm?" Baphomey was not pleased with the idea of sharing such an enclosed space with a giant sasquatch.

"Perhaps it is time to bust out the old T.S. Fisherman charm and see if Dr Leems can be wooed to our cause."

"She didn't seem to pleased with your 'cause' before we threw her in the trailer."

"Yes, but that was so long ago. A lot has happened then and our new cause is far more compelling: getting out of the county alive. She'll have to go for it."

The two headed to the rear of the trailer. Baphomey sat back a ways from the door and prepared to let loose some soothing sitar music in case the sasquatch needed to be calmed.

"Dr Leems, how's about we let you out of there? You tell us everything there is to know about taking care of a sasquatch, then let us take the sasquatch and we leave you here. That way we get out of the county quick and nobody gets hurt. Everybody wins on this deal. You should take it," Tom shouted through the closed door. There was nothing but silence for a moment or two, followed by the low grumble of a waking sasquatch.

"Now Dr Leems, don't make this any harder than it needs to be. Just give us the sasquatch and then stay out here for the rest of your life, it's that simple." Tom gave Baphomey a thumbs up as if to say: plan's working perfectly buddy, Baphomey rolled his eyes.

"That is an awful deal and there is no way we are coming out if you're planning on turning this sasquatch into a side show spectacle for the slack jawed yokels of the south. If you want us to come out peacefully, the least you have to do is take us with you and make me your partner." Dr Leems called back.

Tom got agitated, "I don't think you're in any position to be making demands lady. We could just leave you in there with that thing."

"Yeah, and isn't it sasquatch mating season," Baphomey added, knowing they were in too deep now to start trying to win her over with kindness.

"First off geniuses, it's a female. Second off, who do you think has been taking care of the sasquatch while the Little Daddy was keeping it at the brewery? It would never harm me."

Tom and Baphomey exchanged a look that told each other they both knew they were fucked, but they shouldn't let her know that they think they have no leverage.

"5% of profits from the tour." Tom called out.

"20%" She replied.

"10%" Tom shot back, "And I won't go any higher."

"20% or we both walk."

"15% plus a cut of the merchandise sales"

"Deal!" With that the back doors flew off their hinges as the sasquatch shoved it's way through them with Dr Leems with the sasquatch.

They set the sasquatch and Dr Leems to work unhooking the trailer while they spoke with Bob the Brain. He gave them the contact phone number and address of a man who'd put them back into show biz.

"Say Bob, you wouldn't happen to have any sort of fire arm you could part with do you?" Tom was expecting trouble on his way out of the county and they only had a typewriter, a switch-blade and a sitar between them. None of which made him feel particular protected.

"I got a hunting rifle and a shotgun I'm looking to lose for an insurance thing I'm doing. For the right price you just might be able to be the one to make them disappear," Bob got a big salesman grin pass across his face as he looked Tom over.

"Fine, just fine. I've got an expense account with the magazine. They'll wire you five times what it's worth if I tell them to. They'll never even know what it was for. How about it?"

"How about $150 cash or you don't drive away armed."

Without a choice Tom forked over the cash and they hopped in the truck and headed out onto the road. Heading down the highway, Tom driving, Baphomey holding the rifle in the passengers seat, and Dr Leems was in the back of the cab with the sasquatch.

Tom's plan was to floor it as much as possible to get out of the county as soon as he could. Baphomey spotted a highway patrol car on an overpass through the scope of a rifle.

"We got The Man up ahead on the overpass, T.S."

"I haven't got time for their brand of fascist bullshit. I'm gonna give it the beans and book it for the county line." Tom was giving the engine everything he could and they managed to fly under the overpass quick enough that they were out of sight of the cop without him even turning on his lights.

This in turn emptied the gas of the huge truck very quickly. Tom pulled over at the next gas station they saw.

Baphomey hopped out to fill up, so Tom would be ready to drive as soon as it was full. There was a loud screech of tires from the highway as a beer delivery truck stopped suddenly along the highway. It backed up quickly and the doors opened and several large men in Gettysburg Brewery loading dock uniforms jumped out of the truck. They quickly started advancing toward the Aloha Express.

"Not so fast boys," Tom said as he aimed the hunting rifle at them as they approached, "True I wouldn't get all of you, but I'd sure as hell take a few of you out before you could stop me. Who wants to be one of the lucky ones to go first?"

The four men stopped and put their hands up, "That's right fellas, now get back into your little truck and keep driving like you never saw us and nobody gets hurt." Tom kept the gun aimed at them as they retreated.

Just as they were approaching their truck, Baphomey runs wildly towards them and throws himself at the largest one hoping to knock him out and steal a case of beer and get back to the truck. However, years of heavy drug use, a general complete lack of any sort of exercise of nutrient intake, and a little awkwardly design alien muscle structure sent him tumbling into the dirt beside the men missing them completely.

They were on top of him before he could do anything. All his struggling did was get him hit in the back of the head and knocked unconscious before being thrown into the truck. The rest of the team hopped in and they were off down the road.

"What the hell was he doing?! They were leaving! We were in the clear! What the hell was he thinking!?" Dr Leems was yelling hysterically as Tom started to put the truck in gear.

"Obviously he wanted road beers," he said dismissively as they got into the highway and he slammed on the gas.

"We could have bought some inside the gas station! WHY DID HE TRY TO ATTACK THEM?!"

"Stolen beer taken from assholes tastes better. It's science. Look it up in scholarly journals. It's cutting edge flavor science."

The CB crackled on, "Listen to me you gun toting nut-case. Give us the truck, the sasquatch, tell us where you put the trailer, and we will let your friend go alive." Tom ignored it and accelerated the truck as fast as it could go.

Meanwhile in the back of the delivery truck, Baphomey woke up. After realizing where he was he reached out with his body's electrical field and shut off the car's engine. He grabbed a case of beer and jumped out the back of the truck.

Tom was going too fast and not paying attention to what was in front of him. Luckily when Baphomey landed outside of the truck he acted quick enough to step out of the way of the Aloha Express just as it smashed into the back of the stopped delivery truck.

There were no survivors in the truck, but luckily the Aloha Express was so huge that the damage it sustained didn't seem to incapacitate it. When the Aloha Express rumbled to a stop, Tom hopped out to survey the damage to the front of the truck. After they had assessed the damage they determined that the Aloha Express may still run. They decide they were gonna need faster wheels to get out of Marmot County without every yokel with dreams of cashing in on the bounty catching up to them.

As they were headed back to the cab of the truck a bullet ricocheted off the door handle as Tom reached for it. He spun around and saw only open desert around the road.

"Sweet holy Moses, there's an invisible rifleman shooting at us!" Tom yelled as he dove under the truck, "Keep out of view of the windows so he doesn't get a clean shot."

"Get in the passenger's side, I'll drive," Baphomey called out the window.

Tom scurried to the other side of the truck and hopped in as it was driving off. They tried to put some distance between themselves and the shoot. Baphomey swerved back and forth across the two lanes of highway trying to present a more difficult target for the shooter.

It wasn't long before the flashing red lights of a highway patrol car appeared in their rear-view.

Baphomey attempted to floor it, but the Aloha Express just didn't have the power to make an escape. The engine whined and groaned and they achieved a top speed of 30 mph. Cursing loudly, they pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the office to approach.

"Well afternoon there boys. You fellas were in quite a hurry a few miles back. Can't help noticin' you slowed down a bit. Wouldn't have anything to do with that wreck I saw a few miles back now would it?" the sheriff said as he began lighting a cigarette.

"Uhhhhhhhh....."Baphomey kicked the driver's side door open and shot the sheriff in the knee with the hunting rifle. The sheriff fell to the asphalt clutching at where his knee used to be and screaming in agony.

"Quick, everybody to the highway patrol car, that'll get us out of here quick," as Baphomey stood to get out of the truck, a bullet hit him in the shoulder, spinning him around and causing him to fall to the asphalt.

The spikes and heavy leather on his jacket managed to prevent any serious damage. Baphomey crawled under the truck to the passengers side as Tom, Dr Leems, and the sasquatch all climbed out the other side. One by one they made a mad dash for the highway patrol car, narrowly being missed by the unseen shooter.

Baphomey and Tom went to opposite ends of the patrol car and peaked out trying to locate the shooter. As he fired a few rounds at Tom, Baphomey was able to spot where they shots had come from.

Not to far off the road they spotted a moving bush. Tom took aim with the hunting rifle and fired off a few rounds at it. They heard the sound of a man yelling in pain from the bush. Tom immediately charged at it to find a man in old army fatigues with a few bullet holes in him. 

Tom kicked his guns out of reach, "There's a CB in that truck, solider. It's your best chance out of this mess you put yourself into," he saluted the confused man and rushed back to the group.

Sasquatch had torn a hole in the roof of the cop car in order to make roof for herself. Dr Leems climbed in the back as well. Over the cursing  and agony of the wounded soldier and sheriff, Tom and Baphomey climbed into the front and hauled ass out of there. 

In the new car they were able to get the hell out of the county without any more trouble from the residents of Marmot County.

"Remind me never to come back to this back water county again," Tom said as they crossed the county line.

"Yeah, especially because there are probably warrants for our arrest being distributed to every pig and rent a fascist in the county," Baphomey added.

On their trip to meet the contact, the sasquatch got along with Tom so well, that he couldn't bring himself to turn the sasquatch into a side show for people to gawk at. Instead he decided to bring her along and keep her as his animal companion. Dr Leems tried to protest, but the sasquatch didn't care and lift Dr Leems from the car and placed her on the side of the road, before grunting in what must have been sasquatchese for: "Floor it fellas."

"Happy to oblige ma'am," Tom said as he sped away leaving an angry Dr Leems in a cloud of dust.

"To fame and glory, my friends," Tom said raising one of the stolen beers to toast the day.

"To getting closer to finally knowing where I came from," Baphomey added as he lifted his beef.

"Rawrrar awrawr rararar," Sasquatch said as she raised a beer with them.

THE END