ETU Campaign - Mid-terms and Greek Row Party Night
Transcript of Student Interview Sessions #1
Interviewer: Professor Glen McClanahan
Subjects: Jessie James Jeremiah Stetson, Courtney West, Tina-Nicole Buffet
PGMC: Thank you all so much for agreeing to be the subjects of this interview. I'd really like to find out what exactly happened on the night in question, but if you feel there is any important information from your day, please feel free to include it. So when did everything start exactly?
T-NB: I think it was the last day of mid-terms. I was feeling pretty good about how I did and about getting to start field work next semester, so I was celebrating with a treat myself day of shopping with Courtney.
PGMC: So you were celebrating too Courtney?
CW: More like I was making myself happy after being so sad for doing so bad on the tests. No one said anything to me about tests and turning in school work before I came here. They like told me I had to go to college to get that nice job at my Dad's company. I am like pretty sure I would have said no way if they had told me there would be tests and school work. I thought college was more like MTV's College Spring Break Party Cabana
PGMC: I'm sorry to hear that Courtney. How did they go for you Jessie?
JJJS: Welp... good I guess. The mid-terms were fine, but that extra credit I got from you went a little different. I took them readings you asked me to take at that empty trailer, but I tell you if'n that place didn't give me the heebie jeebies.
PGMC: What do you mean?
JJJS: Weeeeell, I got there and this real strange fog creeped in all around me and while I was at the door of the place I was takin the readins and I got this real uneasy feelin in my neck that made me feel like I wasn't alone there, so I figure I might as well try to be friendly and let whatever might be there know that I didn't mean it no harm and was only there for a school assignment to take some readins with some gadgets I had. So I just called out and said "Hello, I'm just taking some readins. I'll be gone soon, don't mean to bother ya none." Then this loud knocking came answerin me with 4 big loud knocks. Now I tell you Professor, I have lived in, on, next to, or nearby trailers my whole life and I tell you there ain't nothin in a one of them solid enough to hit to make a noise that loud. I just about had a heart attack when the gadget made the ding noise to tell me it's done and to hauled my ass outa there fast as I could. I couldn't get back to school fast enough.
PGMC: Interesting, we may have to investigate that site closer. Would you be up for a return trip Jess?
JJJS: Not alone. I ain't goin anywhere near that place by myself.
JJJS: Not alone. I ain't goin anywhere near that place by myself.
PGMC: I'll keep that in mind. So tell me more about the incident. Courtney, what do you remember seeing?
CW: Not as much as JayJay Jay did, because most of the day Tina-Nicole and I were out shopping. I needed to blow off some steam about my mid-terms and I convinced Tina-Nicole to treat herself for doing so good on her's.
T-NB: There was one strange thing that happened though. While we were getting lunch at the Pizza Barn, I noticed a guy from one of our classes, he looked sick or something and only ordered an extra rare burger. He was sweating a lot and looking at this young mother with her child like he was still hungry after he ate.
CW: Yeah he was a total creepo. I mean aside from his goth make up from the 90s, who goes to the Pizza Barn and orders a burger. Like it's named after the food so order the food it's named after, duh.
PGMC: Interesting, did you observe any further strange behaviors in this young man?
T-NB: He followed a young mother out with her child, but we headed out there and it looks like he saw us and ran off, but other than that there was nothing we could really call the cops over. Just general creepy weird guy stuff.
PGMC: Was this the same young man involved in the incident on Greek Row the last night of finals?
JJJS: No that was a friend of my roommates. That night he tells me I gotta meet his buddies Steve and Mike, kept goin on about how highlarious these guys were on account of Mike not mindin bein the butt of all of Steve jokes. We get to this party and Steve says "I got a real doozy to lay on Mike. Just go with me" He's got this whole ritual set up in the backyard with this shrunken head which he said he found the frat house basement with the Halloween decorations and he starts yammerin away with some fake jibberish in a book Mike was laughin real hard until the end when he got real quiet next thing we know he's walkin around with his arms up in front of him making all these groanin noises like he's a zombie and we thought it was all a big joke, I mean he didn't even drop his beer or nothin. Mike even tried to bite Steve, but Steve shoved him away and Mike fell over, so we figure he was totally wasted and all four of us carried him back inside and left him there on his bed and me and Willy 4th headed back to the party.
PGMC: Was that the end of the incident that evening?
JJJS: We barely had time to get ourselves settled in when we hear a girl scream from outside I got rushin out there and see Ms Courtney West with TNB standin by this girl sittin on the curb with her date, I get over there and find out from Ms Courtney West that some weird guy tried to bite he arm, but her date hit him and he stumbled off into the woods, when I caught sight of Steve sitting down outside on the curb a few frats down, he says Mike bit him and ran off and Steve is all pale sayin what have done over and over like he's the one that made Mike go crazy.
PGMC: Where were you two during this ritual?
CW: We were networking obviously. I mean freshman who don't network at Greek Row parties are missing the whole point. I met a Psi Beta sister named Hazel who was real mean, so I know who I've got to win over if I want to get in before my freshman year is over.
T-NB: We didn't go outside until after we heard the scream.
PGMC: So Jessie, you were the one that found Mike afterwards?
JJJS: Welp Steve and I headed out into the woods to find Mike and it wasn't until we clocked him one real good that he seemed to come to his senses. He apologized and said he didn't know what had come over him. Steve gave me all the stuff from his ritual and told me he didn't feel comfortable with it in the frat house no more.
PGMC: Is that when you broke into the Mechanical Engineering Building and turned on the blast furnace?
JJJS: Hey there, I never broke nothin. It was Mike that done the breakin.
PGMC: Is this the same Mike that thought he was a zombie the night before?
JJJS: The very same. Turns out the very next night he had the same problem. That shrunken skull got to be colder than a well digger's knees and Mike started attackin me tryin to get at it. I figured right quick that the shrunken head weren't no Halloween decoration, but the geu-ine article. That's when I ran from Mike and went to the Mechanical Engineering Buildin to destroy the dag blasted thing. Figured if it was cold, something real hot oughta be able to destroy it, hottest thing I know is that blast furnace. I had to barricade myself into the room cause Mike was comin at me like he was possessed, broke through the door and nearly got me, but I managed to get the skull in the furnace just before Mike took my head off.
PGMC: You managed to survive though, so that must mean you're made of tougher stuff that you think Jessie. Thank you for your time today. If I have any other questions I'll be in touch.
PGMC: Was that the end of the incident that evening?
JJJS: We barely had time to get ourselves settled in when we hear a girl scream from outside I got rushin out there and see Ms Courtney West with TNB standin by this girl sittin on the curb with her date, I get over there and find out from Ms Courtney West that some weird guy tried to bite he arm, but her date hit him and he stumbled off into the woods, when I caught sight of Steve sitting down outside on the curb a few frats down, he says Mike bit him and ran off and Steve is all pale sayin what have done over and over like he's the one that made Mike go crazy.
PGMC: Where were you two during this ritual?
CW: We were networking obviously. I mean freshman who don't network at Greek Row parties are missing the whole point. I met a Psi Beta sister named Hazel who was real mean, so I know who I've got to win over if I want to get in before my freshman year is over.
T-NB: We didn't go outside until after we heard the scream.
PGMC: So Jessie, you were the one that found Mike afterwards?
JJJS: Welp Steve and I headed out into the woods to find Mike and it wasn't until we clocked him one real good that he seemed to come to his senses. He apologized and said he didn't know what had come over him. Steve gave me all the stuff from his ritual and told me he didn't feel comfortable with it in the frat house no more.
PGMC: Is that when you broke into the Mechanical Engineering Building and turned on the blast furnace?
JJJS: Hey there, I never broke nothin. It was Mike that done the breakin.
PGMC: Is this the same Mike that thought he was a zombie the night before?
JJJS: The very same. Turns out the very next night he had the same problem. That shrunken skull got to be colder than a well digger's knees and Mike started attackin me tryin to get at it. I figured right quick that the shrunken head weren't no Halloween decoration, but the geu-ine article. That's when I ran from Mike and went to the Mechanical Engineering Buildin to destroy the dag blasted thing. Figured if it was cold, something real hot oughta be able to destroy it, hottest thing I know is that blast furnace. I had to barricade myself into the room cause Mike was comin at me like he was possessed, broke through the door and nearly got me, but I managed to get the skull in the furnace just before Mike took my head off.
PGMC: You managed to survive though, so that must mean you're made of tougher stuff that you think Jessie. Thank you for your time today. If I have any other questions I'll be in touch.
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