Spirit of 77: Season 1 Episode 1
Spirit of '77 S 1 E 1:
Who's Bright Idea was it to Steal the Beer Truck Anyway?
Starring
- Mike as Tom S Fisherman: a gonzo journalist with a mysterious religious background out to uncover the truth!
- Stephen as Killian "Baphomet" Burque: goth glam rock alien looking for the new sound and his old life.
30 miles outside The City in Marmut County, inside a seedy motel room, Tom S Fisherman and Baphomet wake up among the clutter of a party that went too far the night before. Neither remembered how they got there, but the nightstand has a set of keys with a large key plastic hula girl and the words Aloha Express written on them. Outside the motel room they saw a big cab 18 wheeler with a Gettysburg Beer trailer attached and an airbrushed work of art depicting hula girls, a Hawaiian sunset, and the words Aloha express written down the side of it.
"We'll need some road beers if we're going to find the new sound anyway" Baphomet said.
"More importantly, who the fuck will pay for this motel room? God knows how long we've been here or what kind of enemies we've made at the front desk. Let's take the truck." Tom said as he was gathering his type writer and tape recorder.
As soon as they got out on Highway 18, Baphomet insists they stop off and meet his friend Drugs Joe. He wants to make sure he's well stocked in the supplies necessary to make his alien chemical cocktail; which is the only thing that sustains him.
After a quick call to Drugs Joe at the first payphone they saw, the two headed back toward the Aloha Express, but stopped short when they heard the sound of someone sneeze from within the cab of their truck.
Baphomet reached out with his body's overcharged electrical field to honk the horn and turn on the radio to scare the occupant and called to them to come out slowly. As they did they were greeted by a beautiful young woman in daisy dukes and a half shirt and HUGE hair.
With a thick southern draw the woman spoke: "I'm sorry, ya'll. I'm Suzy Leems. I'm just a hitch hikin' where ever the wind might take me. I saw ya'll partyin at the motel up the road and figured there was only two of ya in that big ol' truck of yours, so ya'll wouldn't mind if little old me hid out in the back of the cab until yer next stop. I didn't know ya'll were plannin yer next stop out in the middle o' nowhere."
"Ass, cash, or grass." Tom said immediately. Suzy ignored him and spoke with Baphomet.
"I wouldn't mind helpin out if ya'll need it. I just really liked your truck. Is it really from Hawaii?" she asked.
"Sure we drove it here and were the first to do it. That's what the celebration was about. You can come with us, but you need to know we're in charge and you do what we say. Got it?" Baphomet was all business.
"I completely understand. I'm headed North and I'll go as far as ya'll can take me."
"We're headed south." Baphomet replied
"Like I said, I'm headed South and I'll go as far as ya'll can take me."
Baphomet lead Suzy back to the truck. As Tom was getting into the driver's seat he is almost positive he heard what sounded like a large animal growling. He looked around briefly, but didn't see any place something could hide. He shrugged and ignored it, before taking the wheel and heading out onto Highway 18 again.
The CB crackled on: "Breaker breaker 79er, this is Little Daddy Leon McIllwain callin the Aloha Express. Are you there?"
Baphomet took the CB: "This is the Aloha Express. Go ahead Little Daddy."
"Well howdy. It's nice to finally talk to the person that stole my fuckin' beer truck. Now I know some folks would have called the police on you, but I'm a reasonable man. We've all made mistakes. I got a deal for you. You take that truck to where it was goin to be delivered and I'll be happy to give you a cut of the profit. How's that sound to you?"
The two immediately accepted the offer. Cash was easier to transport than a trailer of road beers and started headin towards the drop off point.
Suzy Leems spoke up on the way: "I don't like the sound of the Little Daddy fellow. He seemed awfully eager to make a deal. I wouldn't trust him if I was you."
Maybe it was the constant use of hard drug cocktails or maybe it was just his nature, but Baphomet became instantly suspicious. He and TSF began giving Suzy Leems the third degree. "Spill it Suzy or I'll chuck you out the door while we're driving." Baphomet said.
"He'll do it to. I'll be his witness if you go to The Man. You attacked him and he had to defend himself. Look at the skinny bastard, a strong breeze could topple him. A crazed woman flying at him would be at least twice as deadly. He'd have to throw you out. I'd swear to it. And that's the word of a god damned journalist!" TSF added.
"Alright alright, but ya'll need to promise to hear me out." her southern draw disappeared as she spoke "My name is Dr Susan Leems. I'm a research Zoologist. The truck doesn't have beer in it. It's an endangered species that needs to be taken someplace safe for it to be set free into the wild."
"What kind of species we talkin here?" TSF raised an eyebrow as he asked.
"Well...the scientific name is magnus-pede, but in laymen's terms you might call it a sasquatch."
TSF slammed on the brakes and jammed the truck into park: "This, I've gotta see."
The back of the trailer was made up to look like it was full of pallets of beer, but Dr Leems showed them how only one pallet was real and the rest were all fake to throw off detection. Inside was a heavily sedated and restrained 8 foot tall big foot.
While Dr Leems checked the animals vitals, TSF and Baphomet began to scheme.
"I know a guy out here. Goes by the name of Bob the Brain. Conspiracy nut. He'd know who we could talk to about taking this animal on a cross country tour to show the people and make a lot of money doing it. Maybe this beast's roar is the new sound you've been looking for to make your comeback tour." said TSF
"Maybe we could even find someone to trade this mystery for another. I could find out more about my past. Maybe even how I got to earth." Baphomet added with as much enthusiasm as his chemical filled body could muster.
"Either way, we need to ditch the girl as soon as we can. Play it cool though, we'll ditch her after Bob the Brain helps us." said TSF.
The three returned to the cab of the truck. Baphomet was terrible at hiding that they were keeping a secret and began sweating and shaking. In his head, he looked cool as a cucumber, but to anyone that saw him he looked like a junky coming down and realizing they are surrounded by cops. Luckily TSF explained it all away as typical rock star drug issues and Dr Leems believed him.
After arriving at Bob the Brain's place, Bob got a little overly excited about the creature in the back of the truck.
Once they finally called him down and got him to speak in complete sentences, they put him him to work on setting up a crytozoology tour with the big foot. There plan was to draw out those mysterious agencies that keep these types of things secret with their tours. Those agencies might would have more information about Baphomet's past.
As soon as they were done putting Bob to task, Dr Leems confronted the two of them: "What the hell guys? I thought we were going to set big foot free in the north west where he could be safe?"
"Change of plans. You're not invited along anymore. Hit the road, sister." TSF says.
She stared at the two of them with all the hate she had and calmly responded: "Okay. I'll leave then." and promptly left without a further word.
"Good, glad she learned her place; which is not here," TSF said with a smile. His smile fell around the same time they heard the Aloha Express start up with Dr Leems behind the wheel.
Baphomet positioned himself with his enhanced sitar and got to work playing a frequency that disabled the truck's battery.
The 18 wheeler rumbled to a halt after a few chords. He tried to drag Dr Leems from the cab of the truck. She was too quick for him and she returned his attempt to grab her with a swift slam in the face with a tire iron.
Baphomet stumbled back, his face bleeding, "Little help here Tom."
"I'm on it" TSF replied.
Baphomet stepped back and sat down to play his a battle tune on his sitar to get Tom amped up.
Feeling extra charged by Baphomet's song, TSF jumped onto the side of the truck, wrapped the seat belt around Dr Leems wrists and then shoved her out the side so she dangled by her arms and couldn't get out. Baphomet cut the seatbelt loose, then the two of them dragged her to the back of the trailer so she could stay locked in there with big foot.
As they were returning to the cab of the truck, Baphomet's electrical field powered up the truck. The CB crackled on: "Breaker breaker, this is Cowboy Buck Searcy callin out to the Aloha Express. Aloha boys. Cowboy Buck's got a deal for you."
Cowboy Buck explained that Big Foot was destined for his car lot's big weekend sale where Cowboy Buck was gonna draw in the crowds with his stompin' out high prices sale. He'd be more than happy to compensate them for making the delivery. After a short consideration, TSF responded they weren't interested in what he was selling. Big foot was part of their team now.
Cowboy Buck got back on the CB to let anyone who was listening know that he would pay top dollar for the Aloha Express to be delivered to his car lot by tonight. Shortly after that Little Daddy McIllwain got on and accused Cowboy Buck of being a dirty double crossing carpet bagger and promised to recapture the Aloha Express just so he can hunt and kill the big foot himself.
With all the chatter of big foot on the CB a new voice responded: "Did I hear you have Big Foot with you? That monster killed my family while I was in 'Nam. I, Lieutenant Steven Ward, swear on my rifle I will have my revenge and kill anybody who gets in my way."
There is 40 miles of Highway 18 in a HUGE sluggish tractor trailer painted up like a Hawaiian sunset, before they hit the county line and the start of their cross country big foot road show and mystery solving tour.
They need to get past the 225 Roadhouse, the Texarcana station, the brewery goons, those tryin to make a fast buck from Cowboy Buck, a crazed vet determined to kill big foot, and whoever else might decide the Aloha Express is too big a fish to let swim away.
"We'll need some road beers if we're going to find the new sound anyway" Baphomet said.
"More importantly, who the fuck will pay for this motel room? God knows how long we've been here or what kind of enemies we've made at the front desk. Let's take the truck." Tom said as he was gathering his type writer and tape recorder.
As soon as they got out on Highway 18, Baphomet insists they stop off and meet his friend Drugs Joe. He wants to make sure he's well stocked in the supplies necessary to make his alien chemical cocktail; which is the only thing that sustains him.
After a quick call to Drugs Joe at the first payphone they saw, the two headed back toward the Aloha Express, but stopped short when they heard the sound of someone sneeze from within the cab of their truck.
Baphomet reached out with his body's overcharged electrical field to honk the horn and turn on the radio to scare the occupant and called to them to come out slowly. As they did they were greeted by a beautiful young woman in daisy dukes and a half shirt and HUGE hair.
With a thick southern draw the woman spoke: "I'm sorry, ya'll. I'm Suzy Leems. I'm just a hitch hikin' where ever the wind might take me. I saw ya'll partyin at the motel up the road and figured there was only two of ya in that big ol' truck of yours, so ya'll wouldn't mind if little old me hid out in the back of the cab until yer next stop. I didn't know ya'll were plannin yer next stop out in the middle o' nowhere."
"Ass, cash, or grass." Tom said immediately. Suzy ignored him and spoke with Baphomet.
"I wouldn't mind helpin out if ya'll need it. I just really liked your truck. Is it really from Hawaii?" she asked.
"Sure we drove it here and were the first to do it. That's what the celebration was about. You can come with us, but you need to know we're in charge and you do what we say. Got it?" Baphomet was all business.
"I completely understand. I'm headed North and I'll go as far as ya'll can take me."
"We're headed south." Baphomet replied
"Like I said, I'm headed South and I'll go as far as ya'll can take me."
Baphomet lead Suzy back to the truck. As Tom was getting into the driver's seat he is almost positive he heard what sounded like a large animal growling. He looked around briefly, but didn't see any place something could hide. He shrugged and ignored it, before taking the wheel and heading out onto Highway 18 again.
The CB crackled on: "Breaker breaker 79er, this is Little Daddy Leon McIllwain callin the Aloha Express. Are you there?"
Baphomet took the CB: "This is the Aloha Express. Go ahead Little Daddy."
"Well howdy. It's nice to finally talk to the person that stole my fuckin' beer truck. Now I know some folks would have called the police on you, but I'm a reasonable man. We've all made mistakes. I got a deal for you. You take that truck to where it was goin to be delivered and I'll be happy to give you a cut of the profit. How's that sound to you?"
The two immediately accepted the offer. Cash was easier to transport than a trailer of road beers and started headin towards the drop off point.
Suzy Leems spoke up on the way: "I don't like the sound of the Little Daddy fellow. He seemed awfully eager to make a deal. I wouldn't trust him if I was you."
Maybe it was the constant use of hard drug cocktails or maybe it was just his nature, but Baphomet became instantly suspicious. He and TSF began giving Suzy Leems the third degree. "Spill it Suzy or I'll chuck you out the door while we're driving." Baphomet said.
"He'll do it to. I'll be his witness if you go to The Man. You attacked him and he had to defend himself. Look at the skinny bastard, a strong breeze could topple him. A crazed woman flying at him would be at least twice as deadly. He'd have to throw you out. I'd swear to it. And that's the word of a god damned journalist!" TSF added.
"Alright alright, but ya'll need to promise to hear me out." her southern draw disappeared as she spoke "My name is Dr Susan Leems. I'm a research Zoologist. The truck doesn't have beer in it. It's an endangered species that needs to be taken someplace safe for it to be set free into the wild."
"What kind of species we talkin here?" TSF raised an eyebrow as he asked.
"Well...the scientific name is magnus-pede, but in laymen's terms you might call it a sasquatch."
TSF slammed on the brakes and jammed the truck into park: "This, I've gotta see."
The back of the trailer was made up to look like it was full of pallets of beer, but Dr Leems showed them how only one pallet was real and the rest were all fake to throw off detection. Inside was a heavily sedated and restrained 8 foot tall big foot.
While Dr Leems checked the animals vitals, TSF and Baphomet began to scheme.
"I know a guy out here. Goes by the name of Bob the Brain. Conspiracy nut. He'd know who we could talk to about taking this animal on a cross country tour to show the people and make a lot of money doing it. Maybe this beast's roar is the new sound you've been looking for to make your comeback tour." said TSF
"Maybe we could even find someone to trade this mystery for another. I could find out more about my past. Maybe even how I got to earth." Baphomet added with as much enthusiasm as his chemical filled body could muster.
"Either way, we need to ditch the girl as soon as we can. Play it cool though, we'll ditch her after Bob the Brain helps us." said TSF.
The three returned to the cab of the truck. Baphomet was terrible at hiding that they were keeping a secret and began sweating and shaking. In his head, he looked cool as a cucumber, but to anyone that saw him he looked like a junky coming down and realizing they are surrounded by cops. Luckily TSF explained it all away as typical rock star drug issues and Dr Leems believed him.
After arriving at Bob the Brain's place, Bob got a little overly excited about the creature in the back of the truck.
Once they finally called him down and got him to speak in complete sentences, they put him him to work on setting up a crytozoology tour with the big foot. There plan was to draw out those mysterious agencies that keep these types of things secret with their tours. Those agencies might would have more information about Baphomet's past.
As soon as they were done putting Bob to task, Dr Leems confronted the two of them: "What the hell guys? I thought we were going to set big foot free in the north west where he could be safe?"
"Change of plans. You're not invited along anymore. Hit the road, sister." TSF says.
She stared at the two of them with all the hate she had and calmly responded: "Okay. I'll leave then." and promptly left without a further word.
"Good, glad she learned her place; which is not here," TSF said with a smile. His smile fell around the same time they heard the Aloha Express start up with Dr Leems behind the wheel.
Baphomet positioned himself with his enhanced sitar and got to work playing a frequency that disabled the truck's battery.
The 18 wheeler rumbled to a halt after a few chords. He tried to drag Dr Leems from the cab of the truck. She was too quick for him and she returned his attempt to grab her with a swift slam in the face with a tire iron.
Baphomet stumbled back, his face bleeding, "Little help here Tom."
"I'm on it" TSF replied.
Baphomet stepped back and sat down to play his a battle tune on his sitar to get Tom amped up.
Feeling extra charged by Baphomet's song, TSF jumped onto the side of the truck, wrapped the seat belt around Dr Leems wrists and then shoved her out the side so she dangled by her arms and couldn't get out. Baphomet cut the seatbelt loose, then the two of them dragged her to the back of the trailer so she could stay locked in there with big foot.
As they were returning to the cab of the truck, Baphomet's electrical field powered up the truck. The CB crackled on: "Breaker breaker, this is Cowboy Buck Searcy callin out to the Aloha Express. Aloha boys. Cowboy Buck's got a deal for you."
Cowboy Buck explained that Big Foot was destined for his car lot's big weekend sale where Cowboy Buck was gonna draw in the crowds with his stompin' out high prices sale. He'd be more than happy to compensate them for making the delivery. After a short consideration, TSF responded they weren't interested in what he was selling. Big foot was part of their team now.
Cowboy Buck got back on the CB to let anyone who was listening know that he would pay top dollar for the Aloha Express to be delivered to his car lot by tonight. Shortly after that Little Daddy McIllwain got on and accused Cowboy Buck of being a dirty double crossing carpet bagger and promised to recapture the Aloha Express just so he can hunt and kill the big foot himself.
With all the chatter of big foot on the CB a new voice responded: "Did I hear you have Big Foot with you? That monster killed my family while I was in 'Nam. I, Lieutenant Steven Ward, swear on my rifle I will have my revenge and kill anybody who gets in my way."
There is 40 miles of Highway 18 in a HUGE sluggish tractor trailer painted up like a Hawaiian sunset, before they hit the county line and the start of their cross country big foot road show and mystery solving tour.
How's the gang gonna make it out of this one?
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